How to Small Talk – The Art of Making Small Talk Sexy
By Bobby Rio
Here are some tips on how to small talk with women. Small talk is an art, and knowing how to small talk will drastically increase your ability to keep a conversation going, and make it more enjoyable for the both of you.
We’ve all been there, some of us quite a few times: You see a woman across the room, you use so much energy psyching yourself up to talk to her (sometimes with the help of some liquid courage) that when you finally do get up to her you realize that you really have nothing to make small talk to her about. Instead of just standing there in awkward silence, use the following tips to help make better small talk with women.
Tip 1: Don’t be scared to tease her
Try to maintain a level of playfulness throughout the entire conversation. If things are going awkwardly, don’t be scared to mention the awkwardness and then take out some kind of parlor trick (a high-five, some kind of awful joke, a juggling act) to get rid of the awkward silence. The important thing is to maintain your playfulness. No matter the specifics of what you two are talking about, chances are she’s going to forget them the next day. What she will remember, however, is the feeling that she got during the small talk.. Therefore, if you keep things playful and get her to have a good time in the small talk, that will be just as important as the topics you guys are actually talking about.
Tip 2: Don’t interrogate her
While I haven’t met a woman who doesn’t like to spend most of the conversation talking about herself, it’s important that you don’t spend most of the conversation barraging her with questions. Instead of using a rapid-fire approach to learning more about her, use statements after every new topic question. This is how to make small talk that connects with women, rather than isolates them.
For example, if you ask her if she has any pets and she responds by saying she has three cats, don’t immediately ask her what their names are. Instead, comment on the fact that you’ve “heard cat owners are more independent that dog owners.” Now, you can talk about whether or not this study is accurate, which will lead her into talking about herself some more (which she’ll love) but without her feeling like you’re simply asking her a bunch of questions (which she’ll hate).
Tip 3: Tell stories
When not talking about her, feel free to tell her a few stories about your life, keeping in mind to make them about the more positive aspects of your life. Telling stories to a girl you just met is both positive and negative. Positive because she’s someone who has never heard any of yours stories before, meaning you can tell her any one you want (and even embellish it a bit, if you’re so inclined). Negative because she will use the story you tell as a way to get a better understanding about you.
Instead of just listening to the specifics of the story you’re telling, she’ll try to read between the lines to find out just what kind of person you are. For example, if you mention that you had to “wake up early for work” at the beginning of your story, she’ll already start thinking about what kind of job you must have that has you wake up so early. This is something to keep in mind while telling stories: You want to lead her in the right direction by offering subtle clues like that but also keeping in mind that certain asides to the story (“So I woke up at my usual time of 11:30 in the morning”) may make you look bad.
Stories are exactly how to small in a way that gets a woman engaged. The art of small talk desperately involves the ability to tell a good story.
Tip 4: Non-verbal communication is key
More important than any of my other tips is the non-verbal communication that goes along with every conversation. You can tell by just looking across a room whether two people are into each other or not, whether or not they’re talking about something interesting at all. So make sure you’re not fidgeting when you’re talking to her and are actually exuding a presence of calm and confidence. Remember: The actual words that are coming out of your mouth are only worth about half when compared to the tone of voice and how you’re saying them.
You can basically use any of these four tips to make small talk more appealing to women. Many guys are scared, but that is because they don’t know how to small talk successfully. Once you figure this out, you’ll find flirting and attracting women becomes much easier.
Right now I’m giving away a free report called Make Small Talk Sexy ” where I reveal 5 techniques for taking a conversation to a sexual level.
Bobby Rio, is the author of the free 27 page report called Make Small Talk Sexy. You can also read his blog, The Art of Small Talk.